Cull the Chit Chat
by JayPay
Summary: An alternate ending to the August 30th update. Vantacest Kankri and Karkat smut. Oneshot. This is my first stab at Homestuck fanfic and oneshot smut, so please don't beat me up too bad. But, please review and tell me your opinion.


O.O Wow, I'm really about to write this. It's been plaguing me since I saw Karkat and Karkri. And that's what you're about to get, Karkle and Kanny one shot! It's an alternate ending to the Aug 30th update (Which rocked all our socks off). I hope you like! This'll be kind of fluffy, by the way. That's just the vibe I get from these two. And please forgive me if I messed up on the troll anatomy and tell me so I may fix it. I'm not too familiar with it... So yeah. Here we go… Gulp.

Cull the Chit Chat

The halls faded from purple to gold to purple again as far as Karkat could see. That is, if he were focusing on anything else besides his ancestor.

Kankri had his full and undivided attention for a long while now, the two of them discussing (Kanny going on and on and on..) the intricate social and power structures of their planets (boring, confusing, complex, don't-give-a-fuck shit). The ghost thought it was because Karkat was riveted by the content. But really, he was just drowning in words and concepts as if he was a freshman in some advance university course at Harvard or Yale or some shit.

But, this dialogue (Satan's speech) was repeatedly interrupted (mercifully ended all too briefly) by other ancestors, looking to pull the two of them away for their own purposes: Porrim embarrassingly mothered Kankri right in front of his friend (poor, unfortunate soul). And even Latula tried to be Kankri at one point, nearly bringing the entire debate (broken record lecture) to a halt.

Finally, the ancestor had enough. In a moment of freedom from intrusions (failed saving graces), Kankri recommended they continue this banter (spoken Alcatraz) while on a stroll.

So, the two mutant bloods walked the halls of this Prospit plus Derse dream bubble, avoiding rude trolls (Meena, Latula, Porrim…). But, as they walked, their situation took on an entirely different mood. Karkat was now grasping and understanding all this hooblah, comparing and contrasting right along with his ancestor. He was not brooding or ticked or brain dead any more but interested and intrigued. Though you'd have to make him go through a bucket-filled hell and back before he'd admit it.

Karkat and Kankri eventually found their way to the ghost's room. Inside, they sat on a red-sheeted bed, the fabric simple cotton yet very soft. The furniture was all clean cut and dark, rich reddish browns. But this room wasn't a place Kankri slept but a place he found solitude with his thoughts and privacy from invasive motherly trolls.

They sat cross-legged on the bed, both cut off from the world right then, "Y9u see, 9ne must 6e extremely delicate when it c9mes t9 9ther's 6ad 9r p99r temperaments 9r triggers. 6y d0ing s9, 9ne can av9id what c9uld perhaps lead t9 h9urs and h9urs 9f 6enine and harsh w9r-" Kankri cut off mid-word at a rapping on the door that drew both their riveted attentions. "9h, uh, c9me in." He wasn't expecting any interruptions any more and was a bit put down at the end of such a crucial point.

Creeping open till it was slightly ajar, the entry revealed Rose and Dave. The human girl smiled politely at the ancestor before speaking respectfully, "Hello. Kankri is it? I'm Rose, and this young man is Dave. We apologize for intruding like this, but we need to alert Karkat that it's almost time to wake up."

Karkat let out a slightly dejected 'oh…' under his breath, but it was unheard as Kankri questioned, "Wake up?"

Dave piped in now, "yeah wake up as in rise and shine, the earth says hello, though that may be stretching it for karkat here"

Rose jumped in then, "What we mean is that as we are alive, we do need to wake up and feed and bathe and what not. It's only for a few short hours, and then we sleep again to enter the dream bubbles."

Kankri nodded slowly, "Yes, yes, 9f c9urse…"

Karkat spoke to the two at the door dismissingly, "I'LL BE THERE SOON. GO AHEAD WITH OUT ME." He would have used his trade mark brand of insult and burns, but it seemed wrong before his ancestor.

Dave shrugged turning away as Rose followed, "k, but dont say we didnt try to get your dream self to get your lazy ass up"

Closing the door as they left, Kankri and Karkat were alone again, but the earlier ease and intrigue had faded fast at the now looming good bye.

"… I SUPPOSE I SHOULD GO NOW. I DON'T WANT TO KEEP YOU-"

"Thank y9u."

Karkat looked at him confused, with his eyebrows furrowed as Kankri continued, "Thank y9u for listening. I kn9w my end of the 6anters can 6e lengthy, but I appreciate y9u staying f9r as l9ng as y9u have 6een. It's 6een a69ut… W9w, I d9n't even remem6er the last time 9ne 9f my fell9w 6ef9rians sat d9wn and listened t9 my 9pini9n…" Kankri nervously fiddled and twisted the ends of his red, overly large sweater, hearing in the back of his mind Porrim's nagging voice to be gentle with the fabric. He smiled gratefully at his descendent, "Thank y9u, Karkat."

The younger smiled embarrassedly at his, blushing red under the praise from one he'd come to respect quite a bit. Again though, he wouldn't admit it unless you made him deal with that whole Dave episode with the pens and the journal and… ugh. Just no. "NO PROBLEM. SORRY THEY ARE ALL BEING PRICKS AND DICKS TO YOU…"

Kankri chuckled lightly at that, quelling the urge to point out the major triggers there, making his descendent smile slightly. This small quirk of the lips caught the ancestor's white eyes, meeting Karkat's orange and black.

Moving slowly forward, Kankri placed a gentle hand on Karkat's red cheek. Their smiles fell, but not from sadness, just from shock. Neither of the two had expected this to happen, and the ancestor wasn't sure why he had done it himself like the descendant wasn't sure why he wasn't pushing him away. Their uncertainty remained by became unimportant as Kankri leaned forward and kissed his lips gingerly. And Karkat kissed back.

This simple kiss was only a few seconds long, but it seemed to last blissfully forever. A soft heat spread through both their chests, their hearts picking up and their blood racing. Eyes closed, hands crept closer to each other, pulling their bodies closer as their fingers roamed cautiously. Kankri slipped a hand slowly up the back of Karkat's shirt, causing the younger to arch into his chest at the foreign touch. The ghost guided him to lay down on his back, hovering over him as their lips moved against each other. Kankri licked the other's lower lip tentatively, and Karkat opened his mouth, their tongue reaching out to glide against each other. The ancestor broke this kiss to slip off the younger's shirt, tossing it aside carelessly before stopping for a moment to breathe and stare.

Karkat looked up to his elder too, his orange eyes flicking back and forth from one of Kankri's eyes to the other, trying to read them, to see what they held. The white-eyed troll was looking back into his eyes, but they drifted over his soft, delectable lips and then up to his horns, mirroring the ancestor's own. A gray hand moved slowly up Karkat's body and caressed his face until he reached the multi-colored horns, rubbing them between his fingers.

"OHHH…" Karkat moaned under the touch, his eyes fluttering shut. Kankri reveled in the sound, letting out a ragged breath at the sight. He brushed his lips against the racing pulse on the neck, his touch devastatingly scarce and soft. His fingers still working on his horns, the other hand slipped low to his pants, rubbing him through the coarse fabric, causing the smaller troll to buck into the caress.

Feeling all the unbelievable attentions on himself, Karkat decided through his pleasurable haze that his ancestor deserved ecstasy too. His trembling hands, gripping Kankri's baggy red sweater fiercely, tugged the article over the ghost's head and too the side, interrupting the ancestor's actions. He was forced to sit up, now kneeling in between Karkat's spread legs, bare.

"I… I WANT TO… SHARE THIS. IT'S ALL ONE SIDED. LET ME DO THE SAME FOR YOU…PLEASE."

Kankri nodded slowly, understanding, "9f c9urse. Just f9ll9w my lead and d9 as I'm a69ut t9 d9..." He moved himself and Karkat till they were both one their sides, facing each other, and naked, the descendant following his requests obediently, moving and stripping away his clothes. Each's tentabulge hovered near the other's mouth, red and pulsing. Kankri began.

His dark grey tongue darted out and touched the tip of the bulge. This elicited a sharp gasp from Karkat, trailing off into a hiss. Kankri continued, running his tongue along the sides and bottom before taking him into his mouth and sucking. He moaned around his bugle, sending maddening vibrations through out the sensitive organ, causing Karkat to stop all that he was doing. He had followed his ancestors lead, kissing and licking and sucking. His gray hands stroked where his mouth couldn't reach while Kankri's hands did the same. But when Kankri moaned like he did, Karkat couldn't focus on what he was doing any more. He pulled off, throwing his head back with a groan, bucking slightly into his mouth, "O-OH! KANKRI…"

The ghost realized Karkat would not last much longer the rate they were going at now. He slid the tentabulge out of his mouth and took the descendant's hand, pulling him up till they were face to face, their ragged breath mingling and mixing together. Kankri could see the younger's lips were tinged with red, matching the flush on his grey cheeks, imagining he must look remarkably similar. With out any hesitation, both leaned forward to capture the other's lips, their tongue sliding sensually against each other. Their chests were flush, Karkat wrapping his arms around the elder's shoulders while Kankri encircled his arms around the younger's waist, pulling him onto his lap. The kiss lasted a minute more before they parted, both gasping for the breath they lost in their lip lock.

"Karkat…"

"DO IT."

Kankri was thrown off at the sure tone of his voice, "A-are y9u su-"

"YES…"

With a shaky breath of anticipation, Kankri supported and lifted Karkat up, holding him above his aching bulge. With a nod for the descendant, the ghost carefully settled him down onto his lap, sliding his red bulge into Karkat's nook, eliciting a broken cry from him and a groan from the older. Once fully sheathed inside, Kankri stilled, letting the other adjust, but Karkat was the once to moved, riding him slowly at first. It was all too much for the ancestor.

He thrust sharply into the heat, causing Karkat to shout in a sensitive mix of pain and pleasure. Then they began. Kankri flicking his hips forward again and again, gaining in speed and slipping in control. Karkat moved too, dropping into time to meet each harsh thrust, crying out almost every time they met. Both were losing their sense of right and wrong, sane and insane, focusing only on each other and how they fiercely felt. The heat from the moment and each other's touch sparked their nerves and made their blood race frantically.

"9h! Y9ur 6eautiful, Karkat. A6s9lutely perfect…"

"K-KANKRI! AH!"

Karkat's bulge brushed against Kankri's stomach with every movement, painting the ghost's stomach a sinful shade of red. The same color bled into the sheet, somewhat hidden but noticeable against the same color of the bedding.

Their pace had picked up, more and more until Kankri was pounding freely, Karkat meeting him every time. Every thing was a haze, everything else fading away. Kankri pushed him down onto the bed, fucking him into the mattress. Karkat's legs were wrapped around his waist, pulling his bulge deeper inside him. Kankri's lips and tongue ran along his descendant's smooth throat, his pointed teeth lightly grazing his collar bone.

They were nearing completion, neither able to hold on much longer. With one last thrust, Karkat came fist, red pouring out onto the bed and Kankri's stomach. The ghost was not far behind, matching red liquid leaking out onto the bed too. They held onto each other as their climaxes racked their bodies, the heat slipping away, shivering from the power and the sheer idea of it all.

They just did this… There were no previous hints or clues that this would come to be, but it did. And neither was sure why. They weren't in love, pretty sure about that. But this wasn't sympathy either. It was simply connection. The ease of being with one who, after a little while, came to understand and appreciate. Just happy to listen.

Kankri slipped out on his descendant, lifting Karkat up gingerly. The younger found his legs and stood, following Kankri's directions to his connect bathroom, taking a warm shower, thinking carefully over what had just occurred. And he found he had no regrets.

Meanwhile, the ancestor in the bedroom stripped the bed of it's sheets, stained and clearly used. He had no shame in them, just concern that some one would find them and ruin this, badgering Karkat and him to no end for a reason why they did this, seeing how fast gossip spread in these dream bubbles. He was especially wary of this because they had no reason why.

Karkat stepped out of the bathroom, dressed in the clothes he had brought in with him, finding Kankri dressed too, sitting on a clean, fresh bed staring at the floor in thought. He stood at the door way for a moment, not sure what to say, but then, with out a thought, he walked forward and placed a gentle hand on his arm, "THANK YOU. I'LL SEE YOU FIRST THING WHEN I WAKE UP, OKAY?"

Kankri looked up at him, surprised and speechless for once. But then and there, he smiled softly, nodding, "I w9uld like that, Karkat. G99d 6ye and g99d night. See y9u s99n."

The descendant nodded, walking slowly towards the door. He exited, looking around to see no one near by. No one had any clue. If any one were looking now though, they would see Karkat's eye lids begin to drop, his figure fading from the dream bubble. And if that some one was looking hard enough, they could see the hint of a smile tugging at the end of his lips. But he wouldn't admit that it was there, not for anything in these fucked up universes.

OK. I WROTE IT. I'm not exactly proud of it, but nor I am shamed by it. It's just…. I dunno, THERE. *throws up hands* Whatever. It's a oneshot. I probably won't ever write vantacest again. It was just on a whim, to make myself write. :/

Review, please. I really am looking for some pointers, goods, and bads here. Trying to develop myself. Because this isn't just some shit I wrote and put out there. I actually tried to be funny, sexy, and sensual. I tried, and I want to know how I did. So, please review! And I'll try to write more stuff with quality…


End file.
